Sports | The Onion - Sports coverage from America's Finest News Source.

America's Finest News Source.

America's Finest News Source.

Desperate Sports Fan Would Almost Be Willing To Watch Own Kids Play In Backyard At This Point

BETHLEHEM, PA—Worried that the lack of professional athletic events was beginning to chip away at his very sanity, deprived sports fan Kendall Moyer confirmed Friday that he would almost be willing to watch his own kids play in the backyard at this point. “Christ, I’m so starved for sports that I caught myself on the verge of watching them play one-on-one Wiffle…

Continue Reading

Charles Barkley: ‘Michael Jordan Would Have Been Nothing Special Had He Played In My Day’

‘The Last Dance’ Director Defends Creative Choice To Flash Forward To 2046

Sports News In Brief

5/22/20

11:44 AM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

Governor Upset Barber Would Be So Reckless As To Get Near Ben Roethlisberger

5/21/20

2:56 PM

German Soccer League Simulates Presence Of Fans By Pumping Racial Slurs Into Stadiums

Sports News In Brief

5/21/20

12:44 PM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

NFL Reminds Black Coaches They’ll Get Their Chance Once League Runs Out Of Grudens And Shanahans

Sports News In Brief

5/15/20

1:16 PM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

Desperate Sports Fan Would Almost Be Willing To Watch Own Kids Play In Backyard At This Point

5/14/20

11:55 AM

11 Greatest Sports Moments Made Possible By PEDs

Sports News In Brief

5/11/20

2:40 PM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

‘The Last Dance’ Director Defends Creative Choice To Flash Forward To 2046

5/7/20

12:45 PM

Stephen A. Smith: ‘I’ve Loved Ha-Seong Kim For Years, But He Will Simply Never Be The Player Jeong Choi Is’

Sports News In Brief

5/7/20

12:04 PM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

Golden Boy Boxing Applies For PPP Loan To Continue Paying Off Judges

Sports News In Brief

5/4/20

2:54 PM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

Belarusian Soccer Execs Pop Champagne On New Mega Yacht To Celebrate Wave Of Increased Popularity That Will Surely Last Forever

Sports News In Brief

5/1/20

2:20 PM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

NCAA Wonders Why Financially Struggling Student Athletes Didn’t Just Exploit Labor Of Others

Sports News In Brief

4/30/20

1:25 PM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

Charles Barkley: ‘Michael Jordan Would Have Been Nothing Special Had He Played In My Day’

4/28/20

12:55 PM

Jay Cutler’s Marriage Completion Percentage Drops To Zero

Sports News In Brief

4/26/20

6:10 PM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

Millions Of ‘Last Dance’ Viewers Hooked By Thrilling Benny The Bull Paternity Suit Story

Sports News In Brief

4/23/20

5:08 PM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

89-Year-Old Football Fan Still Finds It Surreal That Draftees Are Younger Than Him

4/23/20

4:35 PM

Tampa Bay Also Acquires Deion Branch, Kevin Faulk, Troy Brown From Patriots

4/23/20

9:12 AM

Top Prospects Of The 2020 NFL Draft

Sports News In Brief

4/22/20

3:45 PM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

Rob Gronkowski Hoping Bucs Trade For Tom Brady Too

4/22/20

3:14 PM

Gronkowski Breaks 6 Tackles On Way Out Of Neurology Clinic To Finalize Trade With Tampa Bay

Sports News In Brief

4/21/20

1:32 PM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

Novak Djokovic Clarifies Anti-Vaccine Comments By Insisting He’s Always Supported Having Sponsors

Sports News In Brief

4/19/20

6:14 AM

Sports News In Brief

Sports News In Brief

Regretful ‘The Last Dance’ Producers Realize They Probably Should’ve Tried To Interview Michael Jordan

Advertisement

Advertisement