DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there. “How are you going to penalize a guy for a clean play like that?” said the visibly irked 53-year-old, adding that the officials are ruining the game by making a big deal out of every little push and shove they see. “If you can’t take a hit, then you shouldn’t be on the field. This isn’t soccer—these guys need to drop the whistle for two seconds and let them play the damn game.” Harper was reportedly later overheard yelling that a player undergoing the league’s mandatory concussion protocol needs to “just walk it off and get back out there.”


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