Baylor Men’s Basketball Team Unsure How Many More Times Championship Parade Supposed To Circle Waco

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WACO, TX—Celebrating the team’s first NCAA Division 1 title, the Baylor men’s basketball team was unsure Wednesday how many more times their championship parade float was supposed to circle the streets of Waco. “We appreciate everyone coming out, but after seeing the Fort Fisher Park again we kind of feel like the parade has run its course,” said point guard Davion Mitchell, noting that the team had already driven by the Dr. Pepper museum four times on the parade route. “Everyone was going crazy the first time we drove past, but now people are just looking at their phones. The loop only took us 15 minutes, and that’s at 10 miles per hour. Plus, the people who are still into it are getting way too drunk—I feel like we’re enabling some bad stuff.” At press time, Mitchell and his teammates hopped off the parade float and walked back to their dorm rooms.