‘But If He Has My Voice, Then Whose Voice Do I Have?’ Murmurs John Cena Examining Own Talking Action Figure

Illustration for article titled ‘But If He Has My Voice, Then Whose Voice Do I Have?’ Murmurs John Cena Examining Own Talking Action Figure

LAND O’ LAKES, FL—Repeatedly slamming the poseable character toy against his hand to elicit his very own catchphrases, wrestler-turned-actor John Cena examined his own talking action figure Tuesday and murmured, “But if he has my voice, then whose voice do I have?” “Wait, I say ‘The Champ is here,’ but then he also says ‘The Champ is here,’ does that make me an imposter?” asked the 18-time WWE champion, pondering whether his voice had crawled out of his body, or been captured by Mattel, or whether it was ever truly his to begin with. “When I speak, he says nothing. Does that mean we’re sharing the same voice? I assumed he was a copy of me, but perhaps I am a copy of him? There’s no way I can be two people at once—can I?” At press time, Cena had pinned the figure to try and regain the WWE title that the imposter figure claimed was his.

Advertisement

Share This Story

Get our newsletter