WASHINGTON—Impressing coaches and teammates alike with his passion for the game and proper spelling, quarterback Case Keenum won the Redskins starting job Wednesday with a heartfelt essay entitled “What I Like Most About Football Is.” “We went through a bunch of submissions, but Case’s heartfelt five-paragraph essay really stood out for its excellent structure and impressive story about how much fun he has playing with his dad,” said head coach Jay Gruden, touting the section of the piece in which Keenum discussed how football helped him grow up, be more responsible, and learn how to be a hard worker. “It was very nice to see how much passion he has for playing football. The essay was quite persuasive and included good, specific descriptions of both the football field and why he would be good at playing on it. I feel a young man like Case has a very bright future with the Redskins organization.” At press time, Gruden announced that Adrian Peterson had won the starting job in the backfield after collecting the most canned goods from the neighborhood.
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