Cleveland Indians Rattled By Deafening Sound Of Wrigley Field Crowd’s Indigestion

CHICAGO—Barely able to communicate through the din of thunderous noise during Game 3 of the World Series, members of the Cleveland Indians admitted Friday to being completely rattled by the deafening sound of the Wrigley Field crowd’s indigestion. “It’s so loud—I’ve never heard anything like this before,” said Indians infielder Mike Napoli, whose voice was barely audible over the booming growls of Cubs fans’ stomachs reverberating throughout the stadium, with experts estimating that the roar of the crowd’s indigestion reached as loud as 120 decibels. “It started off as some pretty intense rumbling before the game, but by the second inning, all the gurgling was just ear-splitting. I swear, it feels like the whole stadium is shaking.” At press time, with pitcher Kyle Hendricks one strike away from ending the top half of the fourth inning, sources confirmed that Wrigley Field erupted into deafening groans as Cubs fans attempted to climb out of their seats to stand up.

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