Climatologists Find Pitchers And Catchers Reporting Further South Every Spring

WASHINGTON—Warning that swift climate action was needed if local populations were to survive, a study released Friday by the EPA revealed an alarming trend of Major League Baseball pitchers and catchers reporting further south for spring training every year. “It wasn’t long ago that pitchers and catchers could be spotted as far north as Georgia and the Carolinas, but now, due to complex shifts in our planet’s climate, they can only be found in the southern reaches of Florida and Arizona,” read the report in part, cautioning that by 2030, global warming may push baseball spring training as far south as the Caribbean or Central Mexico. “People in the southern United States have long witnessed the beauty of migrating pitchers and catchers in their towns every spring, but their absence is just another side effect of rapidly changing ecosystems. It’s a shame that the next generation of Americans may never know a world where spring training exists.” The study also warned that if prevailing climate trends continue, the baseball season will be shortened to a two-week period at the end of April.

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