Coworker Following World Cup Goes All-In On Tenuous Family Connection To Portugal

Illustration for article titled Coworker Following World Cup Goes All-In On Tenuous Family Connection To Portugalem/em

WILKES-BARRE, PA—Confused by his sudden, passionate rooting interest in the Mediterranean country, coworkers of area consultant Adam Shetaro told reporters Friday he was going all-in on a tenuous familial connection to Portugal for the 2018 World Cup. “I’ve worked with Adam for almost four years now, and he’s never mentioned anything about any Portuguese heritage, but ever since the World Cup started, suddenly he’s showing up to work talking about Ronaldo and decorating his cubicle with red-and-green flags,” said coworker Jason Sammak, adding that Shetaro spent his entire lunch break incessantly clapping and shouting while watching Portugal’s first-round game against Spain on the break room’s television. “I don’t know where this came from—he said something about some uncle that might have been married to a Portuguese woman, but it’s a really thin connection. And he’s really gone for it, singing some Portuguese chant when they score and defending their aggressive attack style. He even brought in these cookies he claimed were Portuguese for the game. Honestly, I’d never even heard him mention liking soccer before.” At press time, Shetaro was talking about how much he wants to travel to Portugal and see Sevilla.


Share This Story

Get our newsletter