CHICAGO—After seeing yet another anemic, lifeless display in the stands, sources confirmed Tuesday that frustrated Chicago Cubs players began heckling the team’s lackluster fans at Wrigley Field. “C’mon! Show some heart, for God’s sake!” Cubs outfielder Nate Schierholtz reportedly screamed while his fellow teammates loudly booed the fans in the stadium. “You’re fucking pathetic! You don’t deserve to wear those colors!” At press time, irate Cubs players and coaches were seen leaving the game en masse midway through the seventh inning.
More from The Onion