MIAMI—Affirming his commitment to field the best possible lineup, Miami Marlins owner and CEO Derek Jeter denied tanking allegations this week after the team fielded just four players in a loss to the Phillies. “I know people aren’t happy with our performance, but just because we didn’t have a shortstop, second baseman, third baseman, right fielder, or left fielder playing last night doesn’t mean we aren’t trying to compete every game,” said Jeter, who promised that having a one-man rotation after cutting and trading away every other pitcher on the roster gives the Marlins the best chance to win. “I expect this team to contend—I don’t care if we haven’t held a single practice or team workout in the past four months. All 16 remaining Marlins employees are working hard for the success of this franchise.” Jeter added that the recent decision to replace Don Mattingly with a dry-erase board had nothing to do with saving money.

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