BOSTON—Upon winning the 113th Boston Marathon Monday, Ethiopia's Deriba Merga dedicated his 2-hour, 8-minute, and 42-second victory to the six-member pit crew who refueled him, changed his shoes, and removed debris from his ducts and air intakes. "I might have been the one in control of my body when I crossed the finish line, but it was all their hard work that got me there," Merga said. "Every time I pulled over to pit, the jack men had me up in the air in a second. I barely heard them fire up the pneumatic wrench before suddenly I was off running again with a fresh set of shoes and shorts." Merga, who finished a disappointing fourth in the Beijing Olympic marathon, has blamed that result on a pit stop in which he forgot to remove the Gatorade hose before sprinting away.
More from The Onion