Devin Booker On Secret To Suns’ Bubble Success: ‘Phoenix Fucking Sucks’

Illustration for article titled Devin Booker On Secret To Suns’ Bubble Success: ‘Phoenix Fucking Sucks’

ORLANDO—After a blazing six-win start since the NBA restarted its season, Suns guard Devin Booker explained to reporters Tuesday that the team’s succession the bubble can be attributed to the fact that Phoenix fucking sucks. “We had a rough start to the season, but the second we got out of that scorching hellhole, everyone’s morale shot through the roof and we really started to gel as a team,” said Booker, who put the blame for the team prior struggles squarely on the burden of everyday exposure to Phoenix’s art, weather, food, houses, government, parks, highways, museums, architecture, and people. “There is way more to do in the bubble than goddamn Phoenix. No more endless, identical neighborhoods and no dumbass Suns fans asking for autographs. It’s like a weight has been lifted from our shoulders and we can finally breathe free. I hope the pandemic goes on forever.” At press time, every single member of the Suns roster was asking to be traded or cut as soon as the season ended.

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