MINNEAPOLIS—Claiming the quality of the facilities had exceeded his expectations, Eagles fan Wes Fernley admitted Sunday that U.S. Bank Stadium had the nicest seats he has ever thrown up on. “I’ve been to some great stadiums in the past few years, but puking here was a really amazing experience,” said Fernley, who praised the venue’s large, well-placed LED screens that made it easy to follow to the action while doubled over vomiting from any direction. “I thought the new Giants’ stadium was a pretty nice place to hurl, but I’ve never barfed all over cleaner, more modern bathrooms. Plus, there are tons of amazing bars and restaurants to pass out in. Viking fans are so lucky they get to puke here every home game.” At press time, Fernley was praising the convenience of using the stadium’s app to find a great hoagie that he could retch after the game.

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