BETHEL PARK, PA—Uncomfortably shifting in their seats as the costly turnover was replayed in slow motion, the entire Harrison family avoided eye contact with father Jeff Harrison for several incredibly tense minutes Sunday following a fumble by the Pittsburgh Steelers, household sources confirmed. “Goddammit,” said the visibly incensed 52-year-old, who just moments before had been jovially watching the game with his wife and two children, all of whom were now in complete silence and actively staring straight ahead or down at their phones as the fumble was confirmed by referees. “C’mon—hang on to the ball for Christ’s sake! Unbelievable.” At press time, reports confirmed the two Harrison children were quietly considering leaving the room and watching the game upstairs as their father began to yell that the player’s knee was down and that Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin should “just challenge the damn call.”

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