Illustration for article titled Fans Increasingly Unable To Recover In Time For Thursday Night Games

PHILADELPHIA—Pushing back on the NFL’s efforts to increase the number of prime-time broadcasts, sources confirmed Thursday that NFL fans are increasingly unable to recover in time for Thursday night games. “Look, after the intense pounding we take for hours on Sundays, there’s just no way we can be back at our best four days later for a Thursday night game,” said Philadelphia Eagles fan Jacob Ginter, who noted that on Monday mornings he typically suffers pounding headaches and struggles to even get out of bed and climb down a full flight of stairs. “Having a short week is a killer. Hey, I love the game as much as the next guy, but we need time to heal and get back to full speed.” Ginter then added that, like most fans, adding more weeks of football to the regular season would likely be too much for his body to handle.

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