LOS ANGELES—Calling scorekeepers the foundational pillars of their business, representatives from Golden Boy Promotions announced plans Friday to apply for a Paycheck Protection Program loan to continue paying off boxing judges during the coronavirus pandemic. “We’re not bringing much money right now, but that doesn’t mean we’ll abandon our contract employees,” said founder Oscar De La Hoya, who warned that judges going months without bribes would send shock waves throughout the combat sports industry that could leave it completely unable to function. “We’re at a point now where we don’t have a lot of liquid assets, so hopefully, the government steps up with a loan, and we can start sending out these briefcases of cash. Judges depend on us for their livelihoods. It’s not the flashiest job in the world, but you don’t get stars like Canelo [Alavarez] without paying judges for more desirable scores.” At press time, De La Hoya announced plans to forgo his salary to help keep referees on the payroll.
More from The Onion