Illustration for article titled Huge Chunk Of Nation Youd Never Want To Meet Excited For Daytona 500

NEW YORK—Although you are more interested in the pitchers and catchers reporting to spring training in a few days, or even the upcoming Winter Olympics, a significant chunk of society that you are aware of but would rather have nothing to do with is very much looking forward to the Daytona 500, NASCAR's season-opening race. "Man, it'll sure be good to see them hitting the banking on that tri-oval," said a man in a camouflage jacket and an advertising-emblazoned mesh-back cap who made you feel less intelligent just by speaking aloud. "Looks like Jimmie Johnson has a good chance of gittin' 'er done again this year." Sources close to you said that, while NASCAR itself does seem to be targeting the three-toothed sister-humping illiterate demographic, it may be a bit elitist to write off every one of its fans as such.

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