Kobe Bryant Confident He Could Still Berate Teammates For 20 Minutes A Night

LOS ANGELES—Asserting that he’d be able to contribute quality scowls and derision to a championship contender, Lakers great Kobe Bryant expressed confidence Tuesday that he could still berate teammates for 20 minutes a night. “I might not be able to intimidate guys at an MVP level anymore, but I could definitely come off the bench as a sixth man and easily throw out 10 or 15 insults every game,” said Bryant, who conceded that his reduced stamina would require him to be more strategic about how he would whittle away at his teammates’ confidence. “When I see guys like LeBron and CP3 out there browbeating people well into their 30s, I know that I could still play the victim in crunch time. Sure, maybe my barbs have lost some of their sharpness, but I still doubt there is anyone in the NBA who can scold at crunch time like I can.” At press time, Bryant challenged several current players on social media by posting a video of himself dunking on his personal trainer while scolding him for “playing defense like a little bitch.”

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