GLENDALE, AZ—Saying he was not ready to hang up his cleats just yet, Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald told reporters Wednesday that he’s confident he still has a couple lousy seasons that undercut his entire career left in him. “I might be 33, but I can still put up a few 300-yard seasons where I miss enough games that people slowly forget just how incredible a player I was,” said Fitzgerald, who claimed he was physically and mentally prepared to tarnish his Hall of Fame career by hanging around two seasons too long before being forced into retirement by a debilitating injury. “Everyone here knows I can still contribute by failing to shake cornerbacks I used to blow by, or grabbing the occasional touchdown that gives people a mere glimpse of my former self. I definitely have enough serviceable three-catch performances left in the tank to make sure that’s how people always remember me.” Fitzgerald added that he hopes to eventually ride off into the sunset by playing a minor role on a Cardinals team that starts the season red-hot before missing the playoffs entirely.


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