DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else. “If they take, like, a four- or five-run lead, I’ll finally be able to turn this thing off and get some fresh air,” said Neubauer, adding that he was reluctant to abandon the game before he was certain the outcome was locked up and that he would not miss anything. “I’m rooting for the Rockies, but frankly I really don’t care as long as one of them pulls ahead and I can get some work done. I’ve also got to run a few errands, but that’ll never happen if this thing stays close.” At press time, the game had finally become lopsided enough for Neubauer to turn it off and look for another game to watch.

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