JACKSON, MI—Navigating through a barrage of new windows and dialog boxes as he attempted to watch a game between the Detroit Red Wings and Chicago Blackhawks, sources confirmed Wednesday evening that local man Matt Spriggs successfully fought off pop-up ads on live streaming site Sideline2U.eu with finely tuned, surgical precision. Reportedly undeterred by the message at the bottom of his screen insisting that he install a JavaScript plug-in to continue, the 25-year-old carefully wielded his cursor with pinpoint accuracy while repeatedly locating and clicking the correct red “X” buttons amidst an onslaught of deceptive “Cancel” and “Close Window” options. According to sources, Spriggs was fully aware that a miscalculation by even a fraction of an inch would result in numerous other windows opening all over his screen, but nonetheless continued methodically shutting down ads for AdultFriendFinder.com and Mac cleaner software that had suddenly emerged behind his browser and begun loudly playing audio. At press time, after coming face-to-face with a buffering live video of Canal Plus Sports, Spriggs steeled himself, clicked a link for a different streaming option, and once again plunged fearlessly into the utter chaos that awaited him.

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