Man Just Wants To Watch Basketball In Peace Without Being Forced To Recognize Players’ Humanity In Any Way

Illustration for article titled Man Just Wants To Watch Basketball In Peace Without Being Forced To Recognize Players’ Humanity In Any Way

CULVER CITY, CA—Preferring to just watch playoff basketball in peace, Lakers fan Derek Wainwright expressed frustration Thursday that he was being forced to recognize basketball players’ humanity in any way. “I wish they’d stop bringing basic human dignity into sports, so I can enjoy the damn game,” said Wainwright, adding that NBA players get paid top dollar to repress their emotions. “I want to cheer for LeBron, but I don’t need him shoving his concerns over police brutality in my face. Thinking about their personal lives completely ruins the whole experience for me. Plus, I’m already rooting for Black players so this message that they’re people with concerns about inequality doesn’t even apply to me.” At press time, Wainwright criticized “bandwagon fans” for only supporting LeBron James when he’s on the brink of winning civil rights.

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