1621

The Reverend William Bradford rushes for 147 yards and a touchdown as the Pilgrims defeat the Native Americans

1922

Buffalo All-Americans blow out the Chicago Staleys 7-6 while suffering only 49 concussions and two on-field deaths

1970

Sick fuck in league office decides to make Lions Thanksgiving Day mainstay

1976

Bills running back OJ Simpson sets the record for most rushing yards in a single game, ensuring his name is forever associated with NFL greatness

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1987

The Vikings lose on a costly delay of game penalty when players go around the huddle and each say what they’re thankful for

1993

Cowboys lose in heartbreaking fashion when last-second defensive stand nullified by Leon Lett’s incarceration for drug trafficking

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2006

NFL adds third game during prime time to remind America what’s really important about the holidays

2010

Living NFL commissioners gather for annual pardoning of the Roethlisberger

2013

Controversy erupts during halftime of the Lions vs. Packers game when cousin Lisa stiff-arms Aunt Clarice to the ground and bruises her thigh pretty bad

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