CHICAGO—Wearing a Tom Waddle jersey and armed with a pair of tongs, local NFL game day prepper Hank Pritchard reportedly stockpiled coolers of Bud Light and hundreds of pounds of grilled meats Friday in his underground bunker. “People call me paranoid and crazy for keeping a safe room stocked with burgers, beer, and all the fixins, but it’s imperative to be prepared for any kind of game day emergency,” said Pritchard, 60, showing off the underground bunker outfitted with six George Foreman grills, a chest freezer, 10 crock-pots, a 70-inch 4K TV, two smaller TVs for viewing games concurrently, a La-Z-Boy recliner, a meat smoker, and dozens of framed photographs of Soldier Field. “You never know what could happen when the game starts. People throw an extra pack of brats on the grill and think everything will be okay, but what if the Bears-Saints game goes into overtime? I have at least 500 hot dogs, 200 pounds of Velveeta, 40 bags of chips, and dozens of 30 bricks of light beer on hand at all times. People laugh, but we’ll see who’s laughing when the Super Bowl rolls around and my bunker is the only place around with five-alarm chili.” At press time, an increasingly isolated and aggressive Pritchard confirmed plans to barricade himself in the bunker until the Bears are done for the season.
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