NFL Week Five Winners And Losers

Illustration for article titled NFL Week Five Winners And Losers

Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the fifth week of the NFL season:

Winners

  • Cincinnati Bengals: Definitely made the most of their nationally televised primetime game to showcase their glaring playoff shortcomings
  • Tony Romo: The Cowboys quarterback proved that when the game is on the line, he knows exactly where to wildly chuck the ball up for grabs
  • Brian Hoyer: Hoyer led a thrilling 25-point comeback against the Titans despite the constant calls for Johnny Manziel in his headset

Losers

  • Los Angeles: Rampant crime problem expected to see resurgence should an NFL franchise relocate to the city
  • San Diego Chargers: Team was humiliated on Sunday after allowing the Jets offense to cross midfield
  • Jacksonville Jaguars: At 0-5, the Jaguars look like a completely different shitty team from last year

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