Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the first week of the NFL season:


  • Tony Romo: No longer dogged by questions about his ability to lead the Cowboys to the playoffs
  • Chicago Bears: Stout defense kept the Bills out of the end zone during overtime, forcing Buffalo to settle for a game-winning field goal
  • FOX NFL Sunday: Analysts of the pregame show received universal praise after sitting in silence for the full hour before kickoff.



  • Matt Ryan: Ryan’s 448-yard, three-touchdown performance will only make the inevitability of the next four months all the more painful
  • Tom Brady: With two costly fumbles, the Patriots quarterback almost certainly eliminated any chance of making the Pro Football Hall of Fame
  • Ray Rice: After new video surfaced of Rice’s domestic violence incident, the Ravens running back will need an incredibly convincing apology from his wife to avoid further punishment from the league