NFL Week One Winners And Losers

Illustration for article titled NFL Week One Winners And Losers

Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the first week of the NFL season:

Winners

  • Tony Romo: No longer dogged by questions about his ability to lead the Cowboys to the playoffs
  • Chicago Bears: Stout defense kept the Bills out of the end zone during overtime, forcing Buffalo to settle for a game-winning field goal
  • FOX NFL Sunday: Analysts of the pregame show received universal praise after sitting in silence for the full hour before kickoff.

Losers

  • Matt Ryan: Ryan’s 448-yard, three-touchdown performance will only make the inevitability of the next four months all the more painful
  • Tom Brady: With two costly fumbles, the Patriots quarterback almost certainly eliminated any chance of making the Pro Football Hall of Fame
  • Ray Rice: After new video surfaced of Rice’s domestic violence incident, the Ravens running back will need an incredibly convincing apology from his wife to avoid further punishment from the league
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