Illustration for article titled No One Seems To Know Guy Leaning Against Batting Cages Giving Hitting Advice

MADISON, WI—Saying that he is constantly offering words of encouragement and various pointers on maintaining a proper stance, sources confirmed Tuesday that no one at Damen’s Sports Complex appears to know a middle-aged man leaning against the batting cages giving people hitting advice. “At first, I thought the kid in the cage was his son, but he left a while ago and this guy is still standing there telling people to choke up on the bat and step into the ball more,” said local 24-year-old Anthony Wilson, adding that the stranger has enthusiastically clapped his hands and shouted “There you go, nice cut!” whenever a batter has made good contact with the ball. “Whoever he is, he definitely doesn’t work here, but he doesn’t seem to be waiting in line to bat either. He kept telling me to rotate my hips more when I swing and then explained how so much of hitting is in your legs. At one point, I kind of curtly thanked him hoping he’d give it a rest, but he just kept talking to me throughout my whole turn.” At press time, witnesses confirmed that the unidentified man was growing visibly frustrated by a 14-year-old who had completely missed the ball on every one of his swings.


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