Obsessive-Compulsive Baseball Player Has To Touch All 3 Bases Before Going Home

CINCINNATI—Expressing concern over their teammate’s unhealthy fixation on repeating the process, Cincinnati Reds players confirmed Monday that outfielder Phil Ervin always has to touch all three bases before going to home plate. “He just can’t go near home plate without first touching every single base in order with his foot—it’s a total fixation,” said first baseman Joey Votto, recalling a play where Ervin couldn’t even sprint to home for a score without first going back to “tag up third base.” “I suppose there’s nothing wrong with it, but it gets a little awkward when the entire dugout has to wait for him to round the bases before we can congratulate him on his homer.” At press time, several teammates approached Ervin on his compulsory habit of wearing the same hat and gloves every game.

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