FOXBOROUGH, MA—Defending the video as absolutely necessary for the wide receiver to secure at least a ‘B’ from Massasoit Community College, Patriots officials claimed Friday that their unsanctioned recording of the Bengals sideline last week was only for a project Julian Edelman was working on for a film class. “Julian has just gotten really into cinema the last few years, and he’s trying to branch out from football with some experimental films,” said owner Robert Kraft, who dismissed accusations that the Patriots were trying to steal signals for their upcoming game by explaining that Edelman wanted the cameras hidden in the stands to mimic the zoomed-out, wide-angle shots used by some of his biggest directorial influences. “It’s been so great to see Julian come alive while taking this class, and it upsets me seeing the media and other NFL teams using this as a flimsy pretense to accuse us of cheating. We’re just trying to enrich the lives of our players by letting them grow as people off the field, and Julian thought covertly filming the Cincinnati sidelines was a great idea for a short film. His professor apparently thinks he has real talent and told him he should submit his stuff to some local film festivals.” At press time, the NFL had dismissed all charges against the Patriots after Kraft donated $10 million towards the creation of an NFL film scholarship program for the league’s players.
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