Illustration for article titled Potential Ways For Sports To Restart During Coronavirus

The coronavirus pandemic has virtually halted U.S. sports, but calls for sports to restart to provide entertainment for a largely home-bound nation have led some leagues to explore creative options to resume play. The Onion looks at potential ways for sports leagues to restart during coronavirus.


NBA: Help prevent virus’s spread by giving each player on court his own ball.

WWE: Only allow wrestlers to perform body slams through large plexiglass shields.


MLS: Yellow card to any player who gives another player coronavirus.

MLB: Require players to wear baseball gloves on both hands.

WNBA: Have floor cleaners regularly run out and mop droplets out of the air.

NASCAR: Limit pileups to 10 cars or fewer.

NHL: Play on—those guys are too tough to get infected.

NFL: Draw on extensive experience of downplaying a public health crisis to power through season.


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