FAIRFAX, VA—Following a comprehensive 18-month study of programming trends and journalistic practices at the network, a report published Monday by the Center for Media and Public Affairs revealed that the majority of ESPN’s news coverage demonstrates an obvious bias toward shitty reporting. “Our researchers quickly identified a distinct and unmistakable tendency in ESPN’s presentation of stories clearly favoring overly simplistic, totally sensationalized garbage that barely passes as journalism,” said the report’s lead author, Megan Riordan, adding that the media organization’s bias is particularly blatant during its coverage of significant breaking news events. “Indeed, it appears that ESPN has a calculated agenda to promote the most mind-numbingly repetitive and obnoxiously self-indulgent reporting imaginable, meanwhile devoting very little time to well-thought-out, carefully written stories about issues of actual substance in the sports world. There’s a glaring conflict of interest here, and it’s crucial for viewers to be aware of it.” Reached for comment, ESPN officials refused to respond to any allegations of bias, instead stating that First Take airs weekdays on ESPN2 at 10 a.m. EST.
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