WASHINGTON—Noting that the two-week spectacle had likely stirred up a newfound passion and enthusiasm for the Games, reports confirmed Monday that some dumb fuck out there probably wants his city to host the Olympics now. “There’s an overwhelming likelihood that there’s a dipshit somewhere who, after watching the Rio Games, thinks hosting the Olympics would be a great way to show off everything great about whatever fucking city he lives in,” one report read in part, which also noted that in addition to believing the Olympics would generate some buzz about his hometown, the total shit-for-brains must think the Games would also provide a much-needed boost to the local economy. “At least one dope out there is really excited by the idea of hosting thousands of athletes and fans while being the center of the sports world for two weeks. You know he’s just dying to attend an opening ceremony celebrating the rich history of Kansas City or Houston. Fucking idiot.” The report added that the goddamn moron probably also believes hosting the Olympics would be a great reason to build a new stadium for his city’s NFL team.
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