NEW YORK—At an introductory press conference at Citi Field Tuesday, Jason Bay donned a blue and orange hat, sighed deeply, and announced that he was, indeed, a New York Met. "Well, here we are," Bay seemed to say to himself while tightly gripping the lectern and slowly shaking his head. "I guess I'm a Met now. A New York Met. I was on the Red Sox for the past couple of years, they offered me $60 million to stay, but instead here I am with the Mets. Not exactly sure how that happened, but yeah, I'm thrilled to be here. Just thrilled." Bay became more animated when musing aloud about the possibility of a trade, but fell quiet once he realized that possibility wasn't very realistic.
More from The Onion