ORLANDO—Stressing that the unconventional tactic was warranted to counter the Lakers star’s incredible postseason production, Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey cited advanced statistics Friday to support the team’s strategy of giving LeBron James coronavirus. “According to our analytics model, the only viable way to slow down LeBron right now is with the fever and respiratory problems that Covid brings to the table,” Morey told reporters at a pre-game press conference, claiming James’ relentless scoring had forced the Rockets to start thinking outside the box with their defensive scheme. “Some people might think it’s a cheap tactic or that it isn’t ‘real basketball,’ but the numbers say this scheme is our best chance to win. LeBron has been playing out of his mind lately, so even double-teaming him won’t work unless one of the players is spraying him with coronavirus-infected water droplets. We’ve analyzed this from every possible angle and our best chance is simply forcing LeBron to quarantine for the remainder of the series.” Morey concluded the press conference by announcing the decision to isolate James Harden as a part of the team’s super-spreader offense.
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