‘Some Of This Is Probably Water,’ Man In Stadium Bathroom Hopes

Illustration for article titled ‘Some Of This Is Probably Water,’ Man In Stadium Bathroom Hopes

CLEVELAND—Gingerly stepping around several of the largest wet patches on the floor, local Indians fan Mark Freel reportedly assured himself Tuesday that at least some of the liquid covering the ground of the men’s bathroom at Progressive Field was most likely water. “It’s probably just water from the sink that trickled over here, or maybe from a leaky pipe somewhere,” Freel reportedly thought while averting his gaze from the quarter-inch puddle of opaque liquid that stretched from the sinks to the urinal trough. “And I bet it’s only that color because it got mixed with the dirt on the floor. Yeah, that’s…that’s probably it.” At press time, Freel was attempting to convince himself that whatever dripped on his arm when he was exiting the bathroom was clean and perfectly harmless.