Speculation Mounting Over Which Fired NFL Head Coaches To Be Emasculated As Coordinators Next Season

NEW YORK—With several names circulating as possibilities for the unique brand of public humiliation, speculation continued to mount Thursday over which recently fired NFL head coaches will be utterly emasculated by working as coordinators next season. “As teams begin assembling their staffs for next year, it remains to be seen whether the likes of Mike Smith will have to swallow their pride and accept a position where they will pathetically wield a mere 10 percent of their former power, authority, and prestige,” said ESPN NFL analyst Adam Schefter, adding that league sources are “fairly confident” in former Raiders coach Dennis Allen debasing himself as a defensive coordinator, for which he must humbly follow the orders of another head coach who was once his peer. “We know that several teams feel they could benefit from taking someone who once managed every aspect of an entire organization with total autonomy and then relegating him to the oversight of an offense or defense. There are even rumblings that at least one former head coach will pitifully spend a season taking orders from a current head coach who actually used to be his assistant.” At press time, sources confirmed that former Bears coach Marc Trestman will likely be forced to endure the ultimate embarrassment of taking a job as a quarterbacks coach.

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