After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

↗ STRONGSIDE

  • Getting domestic assault chapter of career out of way early
  • Soft feet
  • Old-fashioned running style a nice reminder of much simpler time 20 years ago
  • Has nose for the locker room at halftime
  • At least eight more seasons before his body turns 60
  • That smile good for at least one acquittal

↙ WEAKSIDE

  • Lost entire binder of notes he took during NFL Rookie Symposium
  • Yards after contact suffer big drop-off when carrying third defender
  • Slow last step
  • League’s culture of homophobia prevents more teammates from admitting how unbelievably perfect his abs look
  • Held to just one carry per rushing attempt
  • Tony Romo could always come fuck everything up

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