Strongside/Weakside: Rafael Nadal

Illustration for article titled Strongside/Weakside: Rafael Nadal


  • Is able to make trophies achieve orgasm with just one kiss
  • Has completely gotten into the part of Federer’s head that is not a computer
  • Headbands even thicker and more colorful than those worn by legends such as McEnroe or Bjorn Borg
  • Recently discovered trick to faster-playing hard courts is just running faster
  • Singe-handedly generates 65 percent of the world’s topsin


  • His serving arm being way more muscular than the other is…Well, it’s fucking gross is what it is
  • Never sets tennis world on fire in a literal sense
  • Is a mystical earth spirit and loses much of his immense chi when not in contact with life-giving clay
  • Capri pants, for the love of Christ
  • Calls “backhand” his “reverse fronthand”
  • Should probably work on some cool trick shot like Federer’s through-the-legs move. Man, is Federer great or what?

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