NEW YORK—As they stood on the corners of several busy intersections, members of the U.S. women’s national soccer team reportedly handed out flyers Friday to advertise their participation in the FIFA World Cup tournament, letting passersby know they would really appreciate everyone’s support. “It’s going to be pretty cool. We get to go to France and represent our entire country. We’re even favored to win,” forward Alex Morgan said to a pedestrian who crossed the street to avoid the Olympic gold medalist while her teammates taped several of the handmade flyers to telephone poles and asked local business owners to post them in their shop windows. “We’re playing Thailand on Tuesday, and it’s going to be on TV, so check it out. If you enjoy the match, we hope you’ll consider making a donation to our new-uniform fund. It would really up our game to trade in the men’s team’s hand-me-downs we’ve been wearing and get some shin guards that fit.” At press time, sources confirmed members of the defending Women’s World Cup champions were disheartened after passing several trash cans filled with the leaflets they had just distributed.
More from The Onion