NEW YORK—Frantically scattering in every direction to avoid being stung by the agitated swarm, members of the New York Yankees were running for dear life after a foul ball hit by Blue Jays shortstop Troy Tulowitzki smashed into a hornet’s nest hanging from the outfield wall, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, get away,” left fielder Brett Gardner reportedly shouted before hurling his glove toward the pursuing hornets and sprinting to the safety of the Blue Jays dugout as panicking third baseman Chase Headley wildly swung his cap to keep the wasps at bay. “Guys, I can’t get stung. I’m allergic. Fuck!” At press time, sources confirmed shortstop Starlin Castro had run out of the stadium and was sprinting down Jerome Avenue.

Advertisement